Chick Magnet
by Ekoaleko
Summary: Pun intended. An entirely stupid oneshot my mind concocted at three in the morning. It’s called Harvest Moon, not Harvest Villagers. What’s up with all these peoplestories anyway? No love for chickens? Rated T for chicken cuss and sexual chicken desire.


Chick Magnet

_Bwak bwak bwak. Bwak bwak. _

The young chicken's eyes sank deeply into its head, beady and black. He watched the opposing hen with a slight tint hueing his fluffy, ragged cheeks, oblivious to the incessant screeching from the rest of the chickens coming from behind him. Getting a sudden urge to itch, he brought its clawed foot to his chest and raked against it, eyes still locked on the chicken.

God, she was hot. And he wanted her.

But how would he approach her? Clucking again, he thought of all the possibilities. Perhaps he could strut over to her in hopes if getting glanced at? Or should he present her with a gift of some sort? Or could he… approach her and speak to her?! No, that was just out of the question! Courting was definitely not his forte.

Gazing into the raunchy, mud-sloshed drinking bucket to his left, his marine reflection quivered from beneath him. His confidence dubbed greatly and unencouraging thoughts flooded into his mind. Was he not sexy enough for the other hen? Surely he was suave and romantic enough… but did anything have to do with… finesse?

Talons imprinting fossilized features into the clay soil beneath it, the perplexed cockerel sank onto its butt deeply. Out of all the beautiful chickens in the world, why this hard-to-get-one? Shaking the dab of fountain water off its beak, he continued to eye the gorgeous hen. Definitely stare-at material, with sleek, shining white feathers, not one of them ruffled or out of place… a long, tantalizing tail; jiggly red wattle hanging delicately from her perfect visage. The way her juicy ass swung from side to side as she waddled, the way the cool spring water drizzled angelically down her pure white feathers and making them glow in a dazzling, sunkissed appeal… Her beauty and delicacy awed him.

He heard begawking in the background and wondered what the abrupt commotion was about. Head gyrating laggardly, he let out a shriek when _it _started to approach the chicken den. _It _was the monster that collected the hens and roosters and their eggs every other day. Some days _it _would even take one of the chickens… no one knew what _it _did with them. No one _wanted _to know.

Trying to look occupied, it pecked ludicrously into the empty dirt, pleading to itself that the monster wouldn't come its way. Black eyes encased behind darkness, it blinked when he felt _it _hurry past him. His eyes followed automatically and a tight coil stemmed in his chest when he realized whom _it _had seized.

His beloved.

Crowing hoarsely, it charged up to _it _and crooned at it angrily. It tried to hiss violently, but its throat caught and all that came out was a shrill "bleeeeckk." _Fuck you! _

_Fuck you! Give her back, you piece of shit! I'll kill you! _"Bwak bwak bwak bwak! Bwa lock lock!"

But _it _merely bent down, discerning his acrimonious vehemency and utter complete rage, petting the rooster's head in a grandmotherly fashion. Then _it_ stood up and walked out, whistling a happy tune as it held his loved one by the legs in one hand and swinging the gate shut behind him.

Gawks echoing sorrowfully, the poor chicken's fury sank into despair. It merely bowed his head as _it _departed, hanging his head sadly. He never even got a chance. Eyes wavering at _its _slender back, his little legs scurried and advanced him as far as he could get, to the edge of the fence. The hen, upside-down, gave him a sad, soundless look. Then its beak cocked open and cruel, icy words wrought out.

_What are you waiting for, asshole? Hurry up and get me away from this ugly four-eyed piece of turd! What are you, fucking paralysed? Hurry up!! _"BWAK BWAK BWAK!!!!"

He cringed as _it _veered a left behind the corner, both of them disappearing from view. Confused, it cocked its head at the invisible remnants of where they had just been.

Maybe she wasn't that nice after all, he decided after a few futile minutes of staring. Maybe she was a little less considerate than everybody else, and maybe she tended to think too highly of herself. Her personality, really, was quite intricate as well… like a puzzle he was yet to solve. Plus she was actually quite bitchy…

…But she was still hot.

Eyes glossy and birdbrain processing, he crooned dreamily as he envisioned the sexy hen once more, pecking at a wiggling worm in the ground before disappearing to join the other flock of birds.

But not before rearing up and glancing down sneakily into the watering bucket once more. It seemed to clear a little, making his chickeny visage appear to shine. Looking forward and feeling recharged, he strutted forward prominently, beaming as bright as the sun.

Chick-magnet, baby.


End file.
